Today sucked. My anxiety got the upper hand and it bit me in the ass. It didn’t have to end up like that… I could have come out on top, and for that, I think we’re both a little ticked off.
Let me start over.
It had all the markings of a sunny day when we woke up in the 6 o’clock hour, but before you could even get the coffee served, it was cloudy and rainy. Big sigh.
The weather app on my phone said it was gonna stop raining and the sun would come out, and wouldn’t you know, by 9:30 or so we were snorkeling in front of our cabana in the sun.
We had no plans, other than to be walking to the dive shop at 12:20, so we snorkeled basically all morning until it was time to get ready and eat lunch.
Nothing much to report on other than oh my goodness all the jellies! It kinda skeeved me out, but 99% of them were walnut or comb jellies that don’t sting. It was the few other moon style surface jellies with tentacles that made me uneasy about being in the water.
Nathan did see our big southern stingray again and a really big trunk fish.
We got ready for our dive, had lunch and then walked to the shop.
I was feeling just a little bit nervous, but ok, on the walk to the shop. When we got to the shop, we walked in and I’m not exactly sure what happened first. There were people already on the boat even though we were there 25 minutes early. The owner came out to meet us and shake our hand. That’s when he said Dewey wouldn’t be the divemaster today, but we’d be going out with Jean.
Wait. What? We were going out with all these people and Jean? Not Dewey? I think that’s when I started to freak out a little bit.
There may have been tears, and they kept saying I had to decide right there on the dock whether I was gonna dive or not. It was all so confusing, but I went out on the boat, and we took off. A few minutes in to the boat ride, I calmed down and told Nathan and Jean that I was going to dive.
All good. Jean gave us our safety briefing and we got to the dive site…only to discover that they had taken my gear, BCD and tank off the boat. I did not realize this had happened and neither did Nathan or Jean. So I was stuck. Can’t dive, can only snorkel, and spent the next hour beating myself up over it.
The whole thing was such a shit show because in actuality, my BCD was there, with tank attached, but Nathan’s was not. Whatever, he dove, and I didn’t.
While I was snokeling alone, I did a lot of thinking. It probably took me 100 ski days before I liked it, and I did a lot of lessons after my accident to feel comfortable skiing. It didn’t happen overnight, and it took a lot of work. There were times I wanted to quit and give up the sport for good. But I didn’t and when I came around the other side, people said a monster had been created. So enthused! More bumps!? Don’t you ever take a break?
So there is hope for me yet. When the dive was over, I told Nathan I just needed to get back on the horse. So we booked a dive tomorrow with Dewey, and Tim and Kelly, the Canadians.
On our walk home we actually ran into Kelly, told her what happened, and that we were going to be on their dive tomorrow. She was so nice and understanding, and she encouraged us to do two dives tomorrow. The first one, where you shit your pants (her words!) and the second one where you start to feel more comfortable. So we’ll see.
We then walked home, snorkeled in front of our place, and got cleaned up for dinner. Wouldn’t you know it, the only other patrons at dinner were Tim and Kelly, so we chatted before we said goodnight and see you tomorrow.